There is no better example for how powerful the mind is in forming an image and then sending the powerful mechanisms of the body into full motion to make it a reality than the age old phenomenon of worrying.
We all have done it, though the person who has mastered his/her life does it minimally or to perfect themselves by incorporating the power of the mind in a positive manner, to image what they want, rather than what they fear, or don't want, and then allowing the natural mechanisms of the body loose to make that a reality.
What am I saying? Well, think for yourself, the last time you worried about something. You created a powerful image in your mind, so real, so vivid, so fearsome, that your body started to react as if the thing were real; elevated pulse, heartbeat quickened, sweaty palms, increased rate of breath, all for what, an image in the mind of what MIGHT happen. Our body is programmed to prepare us for a conflict that is approaching, and so as we image that conflict in our minds, our body prepares us by quickening all the systems that are setup for fight or flight. This is the way we are wired, by God.
Why is it we are almost all such experts at creating a vision so real of what we don't want to happen, that our bodies react, in all particulars as if it were real, but we cannot, nay, will not choose to create for ourselves any reality we desire with the skill and devotion with which we have created that which we fear?
To state it more simply, we can and should exercise ourselves positively, with the same dedication which we have up to now, practiced to perfection, the art of worrying. If we could simply decide that we have the power to create our life, to worry ourselves into success, whatever that may be, by creating a real image in our heads, and feeling all the feelings of gratitude as if it were already accomplished, already given to us. What could we then accomplish if we gave ourselves permission to be happy, and successful?
Could we see instead of a failed marriage, a successful one, could we see instead of the worst of intentions of our friend, the best, could we imagine that we are not clumsy, but instead skilled in our chosen profession, and getting better every day. Could we then without limit, choose the future to which we will awake tomorrow and the next day? I am here to say, that is exactly what could happen, if we sold ourselves the best possible outcome, instead of the worst.
God loves us, and in a world where we have not been taught to doubt and to fear, we can see instead, a life filled with promise, and hope, and endless possibility. Our mind was given to us to steer us, not to be steered by the winds of change, or the whims of those around us. Don't listen to the chatter that tells you that you are living an accidental life. You are a child of God, imbued with all the possibility that a father gives to a child, and with a direct link to his inspiring power, there is no dream that is not possible. Reach out for the best possibility, for the best you can see and dream, and there is nothing you cannot accomplish. You decide.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
My Marriage Is Still Blossoming at almost 20 Years
Today, as I am often wont to do lately, I found myself analyzing my actions, and feeling an overwhelming rush of gratitude for what has taken place in my heart, and thus, in my life.
Early in my marriage, I used to get frustrated because my wife never seemed to have time for me, she was so busy with the day to day things that were important to her and by the end of the night, so often she seemed too tired to even acknowledge my existence, much less that I had needs.
One day she said, you know, if you want more time with me, you could help me get my list done. Now, it did not occur to me all at once, the simplicity of what she was suggesting, and for many years, my sole object in doing any chores, washing laundry, doing dishes, cooking dinner, was so she would have more time with me. I know, duh, still being selfish, even while serving.
The change was so gradual that I hardly noticed it, but I went from just doing those things for more time with her, to the next level, which was because she always had the same response, and it was always more or less, a swooning of appreciation, like I had handed her a dozen roses or something. So nice, all that for way less than the cost of a dozen roses, which I have also done randomly along the way, never just when society says I should but so often for no apparent reason, that she truly did get the message, "I am in love with you."
Backtrack to the beginning for a moment, Holly and I met on a chilly Friday night in October of 1989, at a Single-Parent support group sponsored by our church. She had two kids, 6 yr old daughter and a 4 yr old son, and I had two sons, 4 yr old and 2 yr old. Well, we met after waiting for each other to finish some side conversations, and my 2 kids were running around the flower planters while we talked. We talked into the night while my kids slept in the car, and finally went to Pioneer Park in Mesa, for a couple more hours. We had a short, but full-of-romance courtship over the next few days, I proposed to her on Sunday, and we married at the Mesa JOP on Thursday. We then married a year later in the Temple there in Mesa. Long Story, some other blog.
We started out busy, and Holly went from single mom with two kids and a foolproof system, to instant family of six. Our first of three more children came almost to the day 9 months later. We have about completely raised 7 kids, 3 are still at home with occasional short stays by two others, and though it has been no walk in the park, we've had lots of those too.
What has kept us together is nothing profound, but it is worth mentioning here. We have Loved each other through many years, weekly dedicated time to nurture our marriage. We have had a dedicated church life, hardly ever have we missed a Sunday at church, and we live our religion all week long, with Family Home Evening on Sunday or Monday night schedules permitting, and we have on countless early mornings or late nights, sat around reading from the scriptures as a family, or as many as could be there.
Well, anyway, all that to say this; I am lately working from home, and find myself doing a lot of loads of dishes and cooking and even laundry as I see it piling up, and I realized today that while I still get quite a charge from her googoo eyes and warm hug when she sees I have done all this stuff while she was gone, I realized, I do it now, mostly because I see it needs to be done. It is so weird, because I don't know where along the way it happened, but I tell people lately, our marriage works so well because I have been domesticated, and believe me, it does work well, no complaints ;)
The other day she almost teared up and said I am her hero, and I have to say, I felt it, and it felt great to be told that after almost 20 years of marriage. Marriages do not get here on accident, but there are still so many people who think that love is a noun that you can fall into or catch or worse, lose or fall out of. It is definitely a verb that must be nurtured and kept safe. Love is one of those few treasures that only grows when it is given away with no thought of return.
Early in my marriage, I used to get frustrated because my wife never seemed to have time for me, she was so busy with the day to day things that were important to her and by the end of the night, so often she seemed too tired to even acknowledge my existence, much less that I had needs.
One day she said, you know, if you want more time with me, you could help me get my list done. Now, it did not occur to me all at once, the simplicity of what she was suggesting, and for many years, my sole object in doing any chores, washing laundry, doing dishes, cooking dinner, was so she would have more time with me. I know, duh, still being selfish, even while serving.
The change was so gradual that I hardly noticed it, but I went from just doing those things for more time with her, to the next level, which was because she always had the same response, and it was always more or less, a swooning of appreciation, like I had handed her a dozen roses or something. So nice, all that for way less than the cost of a dozen roses, which I have also done randomly along the way, never just when society says I should but so often for no apparent reason, that she truly did get the message, "I am in love with you."
Backtrack to the beginning for a moment, Holly and I met on a chilly Friday night in October of 1989, at a Single-Parent support group sponsored by our church. She had two kids, 6 yr old daughter and a 4 yr old son, and I had two sons, 4 yr old and 2 yr old. Well, we met after waiting for each other to finish some side conversations, and my 2 kids were running around the flower planters while we talked. We talked into the night while my kids slept in the car, and finally went to Pioneer Park in Mesa, for a couple more hours. We had a short, but full-of-romance courtship over the next few days, I proposed to her on Sunday, and we married at the Mesa JOP on Thursday. We then married a year later in the Temple there in Mesa. Long Story, some other blog.
We started out busy, and Holly went from single mom with two kids and a foolproof system, to instant family of six. Our first of three more children came almost to the day 9 months later. We have about completely raised 7 kids, 3 are still at home with occasional short stays by two others, and though it has been no walk in the park, we've had lots of those too.
What has kept us together is nothing profound, but it is worth mentioning here. We have Loved each other through many years, weekly dedicated time to nurture our marriage. We have had a dedicated church life, hardly ever have we missed a Sunday at church, and we live our religion all week long, with Family Home Evening on Sunday or Monday night schedules permitting, and we have on countless early mornings or late nights, sat around reading from the scriptures as a family, or as many as could be there.
Well, anyway, all that to say this; I am lately working from home, and find myself doing a lot of loads of dishes and cooking and even laundry as I see it piling up, and I realized today that while I still get quite a charge from her googoo eyes and warm hug when she sees I have done all this stuff while she was gone, I realized, I do it now, mostly because I see it needs to be done. It is so weird, because I don't know where along the way it happened, but I tell people lately, our marriage works so well because I have been domesticated, and believe me, it does work well, no complaints ;)
The other day she almost teared up and said I am her hero, and I have to say, I felt it, and it felt great to be told that after almost 20 years of marriage. Marriages do not get here on accident, but there are still so many people who think that love is a noun that you can fall into or catch or worse, lose or fall out of. It is definitely a verb that must be nurtured and kept safe. Love is one of those few treasures that only grows when it is given away with no thought of return.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
The Power of Music in Changing Your Life
I have recently been reminded about the power of music in the process of bringing about change in our lives. I have always been told that to produce a desired change in my life, I would have to have the picture of what I want go from my head to my heart. I never quite knew what they meant except that I understood that for real change or progress, or acquisition of any goal, there has to be some emotion behind it.
Well, change has been slow for me over the years, until fairly recently when I discovered one of several mechanisms that can be employed to facilitate the change I sought. I had learned that if I wanted something I did not have, I should get a picture of it and keep it in front of me, which I have done over the years to little avail. Then I ran across a concept called Mind Movies recently created formally by an Australian company, that put together a kit and sold it for a modest sum that allows a person to do what I discovered a free program called MovieMaker does.
It allows you to combine images, words and music tracks into a video that can be played on your computer, and it became so much clearer to me what had been missing. Music is a powerful way to get images burned into the psyche, into our soul, as can easily be attested by some very repeatable phenomena.
To this day, whenever I hear "Wish upon a Star" by Rose Royce, I am taken back to a very special moment when I had just graduated from High School and was at my Disneyland Grad Night, looking out over Pirate Island as Rose Royce played live, yes, this like 1979, so yeah, live, but the point is that moment was burned into my heart, not just my memory, and all the feelings of newfound freedom come rushing back as I listen to that song.
Another example, my wife and I have a song, "When I Looked at Him" by Expose, that she heard in her car right after she and I had just met and spent hours in a chilly parking lot talking to each other and finally holding each other as the chill set in, after meeting at a Single Parent Support group sponsored by our church. The song burned in for her and after she revealed to me later that night, in my heart also, the power and warmth of the moments we had just spent bonding in that parking lot. To this day, hearing that song, brings back a rush of the feeling of the newness of that night.
So, I decided to pick a song by Kenny Loggins "The Unimaginable Life" that inspires me greatly and I created my mind movie of some things that I want to happen in my life over the next few years. I am finding it is also best to do this for the short run, as it allows not only for us to change our daily focus to higher thoughts of what we want to accomplish, it ties those images, and words, to the emotional bonding strength of music. Music has a way of slipping words and images right past all of our normal defenses, straight into the soul, which is what must happen for us to have those images mean anything thing more than just something that would be nice to have. We need to picture them and feel gratitude for them as if they are an accomplished fact, and our internal mechanisms move to make them real, by inspiring us, and helping us to see things around us that will help us.
Music is a powerful mechanism, because it speaks not only to our ears, but to our hearts, and so can be used to convey images and thoughts to the heart in a way that words alone cannot do. Try it and you will see the truth of it.
Well, change has been slow for me over the years, until fairly recently when I discovered one of several mechanisms that can be employed to facilitate the change I sought. I had learned that if I wanted something I did not have, I should get a picture of it and keep it in front of me, which I have done over the years to little avail. Then I ran across a concept called Mind Movies recently created formally by an Australian company, that put together a kit and sold it for a modest sum that allows a person to do what I discovered a free program called MovieMaker does.
It allows you to combine images, words and music tracks into a video that can be played on your computer, and it became so much clearer to me what had been missing. Music is a powerful way to get images burned into the psyche, into our soul, as can easily be attested by some very repeatable phenomena.
To this day, whenever I hear "Wish upon a Star" by Rose Royce, I am taken back to a very special moment when I had just graduated from High School and was at my Disneyland Grad Night, looking out over Pirate Island as Rose Royce played live, yes, this like 1979, so yeah, live, but the point is that moment was burned into my heart, not just my memory, and all the feelings of newfound freedom come rushing back as I listen to that song.
Another example, my wife and I have a song, "When I Looked at Him" by Expose, that she heard in her car right after she and I had just met and spent hours in a chilly parking lot talking to each other and finally holding each other as the chill set in, after meeting at a Single Parent Support group sponsored by our church. The song burned in for her and after she revealed to me later that night, in my heart also, the power and warmth of the moments we had just spent bonding in that parking lot. To this day, hearing that song, brings back a rush of the feeling of the newness of that night.
So, I decided to pick a song by Kenny Loggins "The Unimaginable Life" that inspires me greatly and I created my mind movie of some things that I want to happen in my life over the next few years. I am finding it is also best to do this for the short run, as it allows not only for us to change our daily focus to higher thoughts of what we want to accomplish, it ties those images, and words, to the emotional bonding strength of music. Music has a way of slipping words and images right past all of our normal defenses, straight into the soul, which is what must happen for us to have those images mean anything thing more than just something that would be nice to have. We need to picture them and feel gratitude for them as if they are an accomplished fact, and our internal mechanisms move to make them real, by inspiring us, and helping us to see things around us that will help us.
Music is a powerful mechanism, because it speaks not only to our ears, but to our hearts, and so can be used to convey images and thoughts to the heart in a way that words alone cannot do. Try it and you will see the truth of it.
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